Questions for couples who have been together a while

After years together, curiosity gets replaced by assumptions. These questions are written for that stage: what you thought life together would look like, which differences took longest to get used to and what each of you figured out along the way. They are most useful when you think you already know the answer.

Before each answer, guess what your partner will say, then compare. The gap between the guess and the answer is where the conversation is.

1. What did you think our life would be like when we first got together?
2. Which of our differences took you the longest to get used to?
3. What opinion of mine do you now agree with?
4. What’s a story you tell about us that I always remember differently?
5. What did you figure out about us while we were apart?
6. What did a past relationship teach you that I benefit from now?
7. What is something you have changed your mind about in the past few years?
8. What is something you used to care about that no longer feels important?
9. What part of your life before me do you miss most?
10. Who do you miss spending time with?
11. Who brings out a different side of me?
12. What can you tell about my mood just from how I answer the phone?
13. What purchase are you glad you made without asking me?
14. What do I find relaxing that you don’t?
15. What helps you switch off after a difficult day?