How to play the how well do you know your partner game

The idea is simple. One of you answers a question privately. The other predicts the answer. Then you reveal together and see who was right. It is part quiz, part conversation, and it works for couples who have been together for years because after years together it is easy to assume you know the answers.

How to play

1. Pick who answers first. Swap every round.
2. Read the question aloud.
3. The answerer picks privately. Write it down, or pick on a phone without showing.
4. The guesser predicts. Out loud or written, before seeing anything.
5. Reveal together. Then talk about it, especially if the guess missed.

Keep score if you like. The misses are more interesting than the score.

Why multiple choice plays better

Open-ended versions of this game stall on wording. You said “the beach”, they wrote “somewhere by the sea”. Does that count?

Give each question three or four options and that problem goes away. A guess is clearly right or wrong. The options also do some of the work: hearing four possible answers often reminds you of something you would never have thought to ask about.

Example questions with options

A few to start with, each with its answer choices.

• Which surprise would make me happiest?
  • A visit from a friend I miss
  • A whole weekend with no obligations
  • Tickets to see someone I love
  • A day you planned for us
• What gets me out of a bad mood fastest?
  • Something to eat
  • Time alone
  • Getting outside
  • You making me laugh
• What makes me warm to someone quickly?
  • They make me laugh
  • They ask real questions
  • They’re direct
  • They’re good at something
• Which kind of place would I most like to live in for a year?
  • A busy city
  • A small town
  • Somewhere by the sea
  • The countryside
• What do I do when I’m ready to leave a party?
  • Give you a look
  • Start saying goodbyes
  • Go quiet
  • Stay till the end anyway

More are on the how well do you know me questions page.

What makes a good question for this game

Not every question works. The good ones share a few traits:

• The answer is about the answerer. “What would I choose” beats trivia like birthdays.
• The options are all plausible. If one option is obviously right, there is no game.
• It is about now. Preferences change. That is where the surprises come from.
• It leads somewhere. “Why that one?” should have a real answer.

Trivia questions (their mother’s maiden name, the date of your first date) tend to feel like a test. Preference questions feel like a conversation.

After a wrong guess

A miss is where the game gets good. Ask two things:

• “What did you think I would pick, and why?”
• “Would I have picked that a few years ago?”

Often the guess was right about an older version of your partner. That is worth knowing, and it is the whole reason the game is fun after years together. For more on that idea, see how to get to know your partner again.

Variations

• Both guess. Each of you answers for yourself and predicts the other, then reveal all four.
• Confidence bets. Before revealing, the guesser says how sure they are.
• Mix it in. Alternate guessing rounds with ordinary question cards. The guide to conversation games for couples has other formats.

Trying it with Still Curious

Still Curious has this game built in, called Guess. One of you answers privately on the phone, the other predicts, and you reveal together, all on one phone in the same room. The full game has 200 Guess questions with options, and a five-question sample is free forever. It also includes Draw, a card mode where one of you reads a question aloud and you both answer. No account, no ads, and it works offline.